The Lola Bunny Show
by albinotanuki
Summary: A show that focuses on the female Looney Tunes.
1. Chapter 1

OOC: I want to put out a concept for a show that focuses on the female Looney Tunes. It may not be perfect, but I just want to get started.

* * *

I decided to go over to the local bar to get a drink and relax. I walked up to my friend at the bar, Tina Russo, and asked for her to make me a Broadway's Alibi.

"So how's yer day?" asked Tina in her usual Jersey accent.

"Stressful." I replied, "Had to deliver at twelves pizzas all over town."

"Don't ya have a college degree in arcaeology? Why not put it ta use and go out in the field?"

"I' in debt from paying my tuition, so I have to make money so I can actually go into the field."

I took my glass of Broadway's Alibi and drank my little orange drink of bliss.

"Your cousin stopped by at the pizza place."

"Melissa? What did she want?"

"Garlic knots. Don't know why she just wanted garlic knots; said something about warding off a monster."

"Like a vampire?"

"I don't know. Personally I think she just stopped by to snark as usual."

I looked down at my drink, stirring the ice cubes around in my carrot juice mixed drink. I had so many regrets circling around my head that it was hard to count.

"Ya know, Lola, you should get back inta basketball; yer startin ta put on a little weight."

"I don't have the energy."

"Ya'll get the energy when ya play."

"And make myself look like an anorexic pin-up? I don't think so."

"Lola, ya shouldn't be so down on yerself. Live a little."

"I don't think I can." I said, staring back at my drink.

"Ya know, Lola, yer problem is that yer too concerned over what other people think of you. Try not to care about what they think and just do what makes ya happy."

I sighed. I started thinking about my father, who never lived me and prefered my hotter sister over me. Ever since I was young, people have hated me. I should be use to it by now, but too much can be too much.

"May I have another drink?"

"Sure, but I'm not gonna give you any more after that."

Tina mixed me another cocktail and I drank.


	2. Chapter 2

This chapter is sorta loosely based on the Princess Merida redesign controversy and my own opinions.

* * *

My head was pounding the next morning. I didn't think two Broadway's Alibis would give me a hangover. Maybe if I get myself some whole grain cereal and asprin, it might help reduce the headache. I got up, walked to the kitchen, poured myself some ceral, and ate.

After that ordeal, I went outside to get the mail. I saw my next-door-neighbor, Petunia Pig, opening a package with, what looked like to be, a Princess Ursa doll. My eyes lit up. I LOVED Princess Ursa as a little bunny. I went over to Petunia, but when I got up closer, I was shocked to see that she was wearing a sparkly dress exposing her shoulders, she was skinny, and was wearing make-up.

"My God, that is SO sexist." I said.

"Really?" said Petunia, "I think she looks fine."

"She's not suppose to look like that."

"Well she IS a princess."

"She's a WARRIOR princess. She suppose to impower girls by being tough and breaking the princess stereotype, not enforce it by showing off her shoulders to pervs."

"Oh please, whoever gets a stiffy just from seeing people's shoulders has serious issues. Besides, why can't she be both tough AND pretty at the same time?"

"Because that's not what she's about."

"Oh, so pretty people can't be tough."

"No, she just can't be pretty because that would send the wrong message as a role model."

Petunia then just looked at me with a bit of spite.

"Well you know what? I didn't think Princess Ursa was that great of a role model to begin with. She was a spoilt brat who prefered to put her kingdom in war just for her own selfish need and tried to poison her mother just to get what she wants, and woe and behold, she gets what she wants. That's not impowering; that's just sending the message that if you act like a brat, people will give you what you ask for."

"Then why did you buy the doll?"

"Cause I like collecting dolls!"

After that little argument, Petunia walked back inside her house and shut the door.


	3. Chapter 3

I went to the pizzaria and put on my apron. I helped with making the pizza and garlic knots (I HATE mincing garlic).

It was then I recognized a face that I hadn't seen in a long time.

"Bugs, is that you?"

"Lola! ...You've put on weight. Did you quite basketball?"

"Bugs, you don't know how much I've missed you. What happened?"

"Tried taking a vacation in Durango, Colorado, but forgot to take a left toin in Abuqoikie."

"Figures. You always WERE bad with asking for directions."

I then decided to take Bug's order.

"What can I get for you."

"Just a salad."

"You honestly want to order a salad from a pizzaria? Just so you know, we put whole pickled jalepenos in them."

"Just get me the salad."

"Okay."

I then went to mix the salad for Bugs. I came back with a container for him.

"So Bugs, now that you're in town, how 'bout we hang out, like old times?"

"Eh, sorry, I can't."

"Why? Because I've put on weight?"

"No, thigs have just gotten complicated lately. Thanks for the salad though."

I was confused. What did Bugs mean by "complicated"? Was I not the same bunny he fell in love with in college? I had to get to the bottom of this.


	4. Chapter 4

I decided to follow Bugs secretly to see what he was up to (Its not creepy; I'm just a bunny who's concerned about her old boyfriend). He didn't seem to do anything TOO unusual outside of tricking bald men into thinking he was a woman. I tried dodging each time he looked in back of him, but I constantly found myself cramping each time. It was then I saw that he was going to my sister's house.

"What could Bugs want from Honey?" I thought for myself.

Honey opened the door.

"Bugs, you're here! I made you a carrot smoothie! I'm just so sad I had to kill all those carrots just to make it."

Bugs laughed, took the drink, and went inside with my sister. Now this was REALLY suspicious. I snuck up behind a window and pu one of my ears up against the glass to listen to their conversations.

"See? I got this autograph from President Mr. T when I was in Washington Denzel."

"That sounds like a great trip you had, Honey." said Bugs.

It was at that moment, I saw them kissing each other. I was furious. How could Bugs do this to me, and with my own sister? I storned over to the front door.

"AHA!" I pointed, "I KNEW there was something going on here."

"Lola?" said Bugs in shock.

"Don't you 'Lola?' me. Why are you doing this? I thought you loved me."

"I DID love you." said Bugs, "I was crazy about you, but..."

"But what? Am I not pretty enough for you? You rather prefer beauty for brains? Don't forget I have a degree-"

"You take things to seriously." said Bugs, "Honey at least knows how to have a little fun."

"Yeah Lola, don't be such a spoon in the ice cream." replied Honey.

"The term is 'stick in the mud', and no I'm not."

"Lola," said Bugs, "What we had in college was special, but I think its time to move on."

I felt a huge blow. I didn't want to admit it, but what Bugs had said struck me.

"Fine. Go be with Honey. See if I care."

I stormed out of the house, trying hard not to cry as I went home.


	5. Chapter 5

I didn't bother going to work the next day; I was far too depressed. I spent the day on the couch eating baby carrots with Biscoff spread (taste amost like carrot cake) while watching _Princess Ursa_.

"Yeah, you break tradition, Princess Ursa; men are dumb anyways."

It was then I heard a knock at the door. I opened the door to see my friend, Tina.

"Hey. I heard ya been feelin' down, so I stopped by to check on ya."

"Thanks Tina." I sighed, "I can't believe Bugs would do this to me. I thought I knew him better, but I guess I don't."

"Well often times these relationships don't work out, but if I know you, Lola, ya'll pull through. How about tomorrow you and I go to the park to shoot some hoops?"

I thought about it. I guess it WOULD make me a lot happier if I got some exercize.

"Okay. I'll pump up my old basketball and we can play."

"Great. I'll see ya tomorrow."


End file.
